Power to My People of
Corral 9
First things first, this is mortifying to type a race
report. How do you even start one? Why
would anyone like to read this other than just that they love me and think if I
put something in text then it has to be important and interesting? Well think again, this was literally the
world’s most boring race and the world’s most boring report but my husband is persistent
and has agreed to watch our kid on this snow day while I type and therefore I’m
going to take advantage of this. If you
want the long story short which is the path I would take if I were you then
here it is.
I negative split and felt like I left a lot out on the run. I think I could have done better, but am not yet willing to say “next time.”
I negative split and felt like I left a lot out on the run. I think I could have done better, but am not yet willing to say “next time.”
Ahem:
Night before the race to end all races I had a lovely
Carbo-lavished meal courtesy of my mom.
She really treated us to a nice dinner!
I woke up at 5:45 in the morning in a hotel room with my not
quite 6 month old sleeping next to us in a pack n play. Had probably woken up 3
or 4 times to listen for my kid breathing and was up once to feed him. I actually considered this a good night and
quite lucky because it was better getting to hear him right next to you than
having to get up and sneak into his room to make sure he’s breathing which is
the neurotic status quo in C’ville. It
turns out Bert hadn’t been sleeping very well because he was concerned that I
didn’t scan my chip and was therefore not going to have a time. Rookie mistake! Having worked for RTU (rtu
what!) I knew that was not possible, the chips don’t need to be scanned, they
magically just work and if they don’t the little elves in green polos or more
likely Vic will make sure they do. Ok
that’s not at all how chips work, but I really didn’t even think about anything
other than picking up my bib so it was lucky that the chip was already included
there. That was rookie luck!
I jogged outside of our hotel for exactly 5 minutes so that
I could stretch. The street was already
full of crazy runners headed to the line.
This shockingly didn’t make me nervous to miss the race in spite of the
fact that I hate being late (neurotic tick #2) I actually thought that we had
plenty of time because I knew waves go really late.
I stretched and ate my banana/peanut butter bread and drank
a Gatorade. Ziggs woke up and I took
him over to my parents room and Bert and I headed to the start. We discussed my “plan” on the way there which
made me super nervous, it was like in college when people would get to a test
and start freaking out about what the meaning of supply and demand was and I
would think, am I even in the right class?
How did I not study the same chapter?
So…needless to say on the way to the race when Bert was telling me when
I should take Gu and when I should drink water, I told him that I regretted
never looking at a map of the course.
This went over really well.
We got to my corral, corral 9 out of 10 in time to hear the
end of the National Anthem. We saw a
horse. We saw a lot of people wearing
green tutus, made a lot of jokes about that and then waited for a minute each
time a corral started the race. I don’t
remember much about what I was thinking but I could tell I was with my
people, a lot of novelty runners and
people who looked like they might not have trained as much as planned. I kept telling Bert that my corral didn’t
really appreciate how easily he was able to talk when we were all a little
winded just walking to the start line.
That joke didn’t get old. Another
joke that I thought was hilarious and then I realized was quite cliché was when
we were about 1/5 of a mile in and I said I needed to stop because the light
was turning red. I thought it was so
funny until I heard like 3 people behind me make the same lame joke. Shamwow!
Anywho…I started running and decided I should slow down even
though I really didn’t feel winded. Some
guy lost his key at like mile 1 and Bert swiftly picked it up and ran over to
him, had to tap him on the shoulder since he couldn’t hear because he was wearing headphones. The
guy was super appreciative and I was happy that I was still able to talk and
not too physically tired yet.
We ran into the speed walker from FARC. Yes, I was running behind someone who was
walking the race. She and her husband
asked Bert “what are you doing back here???”
and he replied I’m running with my wife.
I know that is what he said but what I heard was “I’m running with my
really slow, fat wife who can’t even keep up with you speed walkers” but that’s
neither here nor there. I totally passed
those walkers! This made me think about
the speed walking episode of Malcolm in the Middle. Classic.
My splits at this point were pretty consistently slow for a fast runner, but were decent for me. They were in the mid to high 10s for the first three miles. At this point I started feeling good and confident, not even feeling my knee or IT band which had really been really messed up in the two weeks prior to Shamrock. I started to get nervous when Bert talked to me about his exit. He was running the first 5k with me and then I was on my own until the last 5k. I could feel myself getting anxious, but we talked about how there were some people around me that had been there and that I could hang with them, and then we saw the hilarious St. Paddy’s day signs that Chip had mentioned before so I thought they would keep me company and entertained while he was gone. I put on my headphones and the next 7 miles were actually pleasant.
My splits at this point were pretty consistently slow for a fast runner, but were decent for me. They were in the mid to high 10s for the first three miles. At this point I started feeling good and confident, not even feeling my knee or IT band which had really been really messed up in the two weeks prior to Shamrock. I started to get nervous when Bert talked to me about his exit. He was running the first 5k with me and then I was on my own until the last 5k. I could feel myself getting anxious, but we talked about how there were some people around me that had been there and that I could hang with them, and then we saw the hilarious St. Paddy’s day signs that Chip had mentioned before so I thought they would keep me company and entertained while he was gone. I put on my headphones and the next 7 miles were actually pleasant.
I had never seen the wooded side of VA Beach before or the base. I kept speeding up and then making myself slow down. After the turn into the base I saw the 2:30 group. My goal was to run faster than Bert’s full which is 2:26 something. So, even though I figured they had started in an earlier corral I really wanted to get ahead of them, and also, they were running so close together I was afraid I was going to get tripped. Someone did bite it over a cone and I picked up the cone as it rolled down the street to set it upright so hopefully no one else would trip. As I bent down to get it I thought “You idiot, you are going to hurt your stupid knee.” I seemed ok though and tried to go back to thinking positively. Moral of this story is that I’m the hero of the whole half marathon. I’m sure VA beach local news did a piece about me.
As I slowly passed the group I heard the pacer say we were
exactly at the half way point. That felt
really nice to hear as I had kind of lost track of where we were. After I cleared the large group I regretted
it because it was super windy at this point the words of a sage popped into my
head, those of my mother. She said “find
some big guys and draft off of them”
Alright Sue, I’m going to do that, I saw three larger guys, probably 6’2
or 6’3 and they were running three abreast.
I just started trailing them even though they were running faster than I
wanted to be. I actually nearly tripped
one and he turned around to apologize and I talked for the first time in about
30 minutes and said “No that was my fault, I’m using you as a wind block” he laughed and said I could keep using
them. So I did, they were interested in
Ziggs and said I was doing a really great job, they were impressed I’d come
from corral 9, as though it was this wretched place and I had come so far
(Hunger Games reference #1). I was again
pleasantly surprised that I could hold a convo and still be running, not even
feeling winded. I stayed with them for
about a mile and then we had another water stop and I lost my new friends. I did have the luck to miss just about every
person handing water out (I typically don’t have to fend for myself at water
stops as my husband runs ahead, gets me a water and brings it back to me) I know, I’m spoiled. Anyway, I was about to miss the last water,
when a runner actually picked one up and handed it to me, so sweet!
I started to really think these people around me were such
nice people, I didn’t really want to pass anymore, these were My People and the
people in front of us must be horrible and why would I want to hang with
them. I started to yuck it up with the
locals. There was a guy who had a shirt
that read “if you are reading this, I’m not last”…hilarious! Another chick had a shirt that read “Does
this shirt make my butt look fast?” I
didn’t think this one was as funny but still went out of my way to tell her I
liked it, I’m such a weirdo awkward person, why did I do this? No idea, but it helped me feel like I was
doing well and keeping positive about my leg issues.
It was at the next water stop I think that I realized I was
supposed to have taken a gu so I got the water and then did a gu quickly and
then drank my water. Rookie of the
year. I really felt ridiculous eating gu
during a half.
Cape Henry was pretty cool, the name did not escape me and
made me that much more excited to get back to my little Henry. I tried to look not winded during the
lighthouse because I knew there would be photographers. I also tried to not look like I was passing
people b/c I thought Bert would be like, I told you to slow down!
About mile 9.5 I’m just jogging along feeling pretty
confident when I hear a voice out of nowhere screaming great job to the runners
ahead of me! I look up and see a
familiar face in my Bert. He was shocked
to see me! He joined me and started
screaming all about what he’s been up to.
I had to ask him several times to stop yelling but he was just so
excited. Running clearly is a drug to
him. My People of my new corral and I
were not that into it, Mile 10 had come and we just wanted to finish not listen
to this loud guy talk about all the fast people he saw who were at this point
already done. He did say he found
someone with a cell phone and tried to call my parents to tell them how I was
doing which was sweet.
I really wanted ibuprofen but we kept on trucking. I heard a lady say we had 40 blocks and that was reassuring.
I don’t know if it was mile 10 (this is the length I had wanted to go the day I
hurt my leg) or seeing Bert that made me remember that I had a torn up leg
muscle/ knee deal and I started really feeling the pain.I really wanted ibuprofen but we kept on trucking. I heard a lady say we had 40 blocks and that was reassuring.
The next two miles went pretty quickly. Bert and I talked about the race and what
we’d each been up to for the last hour.
He kept telling me that I was going to pass all of the people around me,
which was pretty embarrassing for me but had to have been super degrading for
the people around me, I really was passing a ton of people though, I think I
must have really started out so slow that I had too much energy left.
I decided to put my long sleeve shirt back on at this point because I had like a mile left and wanted my bib to be visible in case the announcer could announce my name! I felt like this part of the race took forever even though we were speeding up the whole time.
As we passed our hotel, Bert was able to spot my parents and Ziggs and we waved at them a ton, they looked thrilled to see us! We cruised down the boardwalk the rest of the way and Bert picked a lady in pink for me to pass. I didn’t catch her but did hear the announcer announce my name as I ran by. Bert was convinced he’d actually pronounce Jacoby right and not Jacobee because he’s said his name right in the past, but he had never really finished a race back with The People. When the people of corral 9 finish a race no one cares about last names. There are 15 other people crossing the finish line with you at the exact same time. The dude was lucky to spit out my 2-lettered name.
In hindsight – If I ever do another race report (still not
willing to say I’ll do another race) I will do it in the form of a Choose Your
Own Adventure Book.
KC out.
Splitdilly-Winks
Mile 1
|
9:54
|
Mile 2
|
10:48
|
Mile 3
|
10:42
|
Mile 4
|
10:26
|
Mile 5
|
10:32
|
Mile 6
|
10:16
|
Mile 7
|
10:23
|
Mile 8
|
10:00
|
Mile 9
|
10:17
|
Mile 10
|
10:12
|
Mile 11
|
9:59
|
Mile 12
|
9:56
|
Mile 13
|
9:20
|
Congratulations on your accomplishment. Great writing, Jimmy Fallon could use another great writer.
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